Parshas Vayera - Addiction, Substance Abuse, and Amudim

 

Parshas Vayera was an emotional roller coaster of a Parshah. What began with the promise of a new child for Avraham and Sarah (1) ended with the near slaughter of that child on Har Moriah. (2) Along the way Sodom was destroyed, (3) Lot was drugged and raped by his two daughters, (4) Sarah was taken by Avimelekh, (5) and Sarah had Avraham expel Hagar and her young child from their home. (6)

Parshas Vayera raises profound theological and religious questions. How is it that Avraham could advocate against the destruction of a city of rapists (7) but not for the life of his own innocent child? (8) How could Avraham so wantonly kick Hagar out of his house just a few chapters after hearing that his own descendants would become an enslaved and oppressed people in a foreign land? (9) How could a kind and loving God test someone by commanding them to kill their child, and how could Avraham have even thought for a minute that passing the test would involve actually going through with that? 

Very difficult questions that aren't easily answered. For this week, however, we will shift the focus from Avraham and his family to Lot and what his daughters did to him in the mountains of Zoar. 

The Torah's view on alcohol is not a positive one. Just two weeks ago we saw what happened when Noach became intoxicated, (10) villains like Belshazzar (11) and Achashverosh (12) are defined by their constant states of non-sobriety, and Nadav and Avihu met their end because they attempted to perform the Mishkan service while they were intoxicated. (13) Even the very definition of a Ben Sorer u’Morah is a gluttonous child who gets drunk, (14) and the spiritual elevation of a Nazir is specifically through their abstinence from alcohol. (15) 

Of course, Purim is an exception (16) but it's an exception that proves the rule. Even there, however, the standard Halakhos of etiquette and decency (17) never cease to apply. 

There's a lot to be said about the social ills affecting the Jewish community around so-called "Kiddush clubs," excessive underage drinking, and the normalization of liquor and alcohol. We are an Am Kadosh and certainly ought to do better. However, that conversation must be separated from an even more important and difficult conversation, the one around addiction and substance abuse. 

According to the National Institute of Drug Addiction, addiction is considered both a complex brain disorder and a mental illness. It is defined as a chronic, relapsing disorder characterized by compulsive drug seeking, continued use despite harmful consequences, and long-lasting changes in the brain. According to the National Survey on Drug Use and Health, 19.7 million Americans age 12 and older battled a substance use disorder in 2017, and it doesn't just happen in the outside world. According to a pilot study published by the Journal of Addiction in 2015, over 20% of people in the Jewish community have a family history of addiction and a "significant portion" of the Jewish community knows someone affected by an addiction. 

This is not just a serious problem, it's overwhelming. 

While many people will hear about these numbers and want to help, it's important to remember where one's limitations lie. Individuals who struggle with addiction and substance abuse disorders often need professional help. Given this fact, what is there for non-professionals to do? I'd like to offer three suggestions:

First, we must educate ourselves and others on this topic. Are we aware of how many people are struggling around us, or the kinds of things they're struggling with? Have we done the work in looking into how and when we can be most helpful? Is this the kind of thing we feel comfortable discussing with our friends, peers, and community leaders? How much can we say we know about the realities of addiction and substance abuse? 

Second, we must destigmatize the conversation around people who seek help. Some people don't actively seek the help they need because they are worried about their reputation, their Shidduch prospects, or what other people might think. This is dangerous. Every one of us has struggles, and seeking help for addiction should be viewed in the same light as seeking help for any medical disorder. Of course, this is compounded by the stigma against people who seek help for any mental health disorders whatsoever, but that's a conversation for another time. 

Third, we should donate money to organizations that are on the frontlines of this important social evil. Unfortunately, there aren't yet many organizations targeted at the Orthodox Jewish community with regard to this issue, but that's slowly changing. Amudim, for example, does incredible work not only for people struggling with addiction, but also for victims of neglect, sexual abuse, and other crisis situations. I've donated to Amudim this week and I recommend you do as well. 

It's about time we started talking about this issue. It's difficult and uncomfortable, but it's not going to solve itself. 

Notes:

(1) Bereishis 18:10, 14

(2) Bereishis 22:9-11

(3) Bereishis 18:24-25

(4) Bereishis 19:31-35

(5) Bereishis 20:2

(6) Bereishis 21:14

(7) Bereishis 18:22-32

(8) Bereishis 22:2-3

(9) Bereishis 15:13

(10) Bereishis 9:20-23

(11) Daniel 5:1

(12) Esther 1:7-8

(13) Vayikra 10:1-2, see Rashi there

(14) Devarim 21:18-20; Mishnah Sanhedrin 8:2

(15) Bamidbar 6:2-3

(16) Bavli Megilah 7b:17-19. See, however, the story that immediately follows about the danger of getting too drunk on Purim, seeming to qualify this rather odd ruling. That being said, one should keep in mind that Rabbah (who the story occurred to) was the teacher of Rava (the originator of this perplexing Halakhah), and, seemingly in spite of this story, Rava ruled the way he did. That whole section is very strange and deserves deep analysis far beyond the scope of this essay.

(17) For one example, see Rambam, Hilkhos De'os 5:3 where he rules that "anyone who gets drunk is a sinner, a disgusting person, and one who forfeits their wisdom. If they get drunk with uncivilized people they additionally disgrace God's name." 

(18) This week I also got to interview R' Yisroel Grossberg, an operational staff member at Amudim (and my high school principal). It was a very challenging and difficult conversation, but a very important one. You can watch it here.